Today’s foiled terrorist attack on transatlantic flights, saw the UK move to a ‘Critical’ terror alert state. London Underground, also managed to move its alert state to Critical — down from the Lethal state it has been operating at over the last few weeks. “The fresher weather finally brought temperatures down below 120F on the Tube’s deep lines,” said a company spokesidiot. “Customers are no longer facing imminent death when travelling on the system — at least not by being boiled alive. By making the commute so unpleasant for millions of hard-working members of the public, we have managed to reduce the waiting time to get on platforms to a maximum of an hour during peak hours, with trains sometimes as frequent as one every 30 minutes.”
See previous story on nuclear waste being stored on London Underground trains.