Harrow Controlled by Vampires – Definitive Evidence

May 2, 2009

London was shocked by this blog’s revelation that the borough of Harrow is a safe haven for vampires. Your intrepid reporter has once, again, chanced on a few pieces of seemingly unconnected information and mapped out the big picture that no other website dares to publish!

The first thing that raised your correspondent’s eyebrows as the complete lack of garlic in some garic bread served in the local Pizza Express in early April. Yes, there was butter on the hot bread, which looked perfectly normal at first glance. However, not one shred of garlic could be found on it, or the pizza that followed. Suspicions were raised further by the Chinese restaurant on Headstone Road, pictured below.

Suspicious Chinese Restaurant
Suspicious Chinese Restaurant

Note what it says on the sign: no eggs, no onions, no garlic, no animal products. A Chinese restaurant preparing food with no onions or garlic? Quite literally, absolutely unbelievable. And here at Bizarre World, we just weren’t buying it.

Examining the evidence, we have two restaurants in Harrow serving ethnic food in which garlic is a staple ingredient, but without the garlic.

The final damning piece of evidence is that the London Borough of Harrow claims to be the safest borough in London. And just how do you think a borough like Harrow can possibly be so safe? Easy: vampires patrol the streets at night, detering burglars and muggers. The local branches of Pizza Express and the above Chinese restaurant provide sustenance the fearsome creatures or, perhaps more likely, are where they sleep at night.

Bizarre World did not bother to contact Harrow Council yesterday for comment.